I managed to finish my latest house portrait. I worked on it for quite a while and feel as if it’s ready to go to the client. It’s always a great feeling to be done, to sign a painting and step back from it. It will be nice to drop it off.
Yesterday was dark and rainy but today the sun is out and it’s beautiful. Not that overcast days aren’t also beautiful, but when I have things to do it’s easier when it’s sunny. I don’t know why but overcast days make me want to sit under a blanket on the couch. Writing is an overcast day activity, but painting, or running errands, or anything that involves not being seated is not appealing.
This is the first day to break out heaters and blankets. It’s always weird to do that. I pulled a sweatshirt out and realized I’d washed it when I put it away last year. Same with the pants I’m wearing. Kudos to me for thinking ahead and making sure I had clean clothes in the future.
I remember the first time I stopped to get gas on the way home even though I was exhausted and wanted nothing more that to get out of the car and eat dinner. I stopped and filled up because I knew I would forget in the morning and then be late.
I guess that’s one of those signs of growing up. In the morning I, of course, was late. I got in the car, turned the ignition and there it was, the full gas tank. Then I remembered stopping the night before. I almost wanted to hug myself. I was so touched by my own forethought that I wanted to do more things like that for myself.
The first time someone asked me what I do for self-care I was so confused. What are you getting at? I wondered. At the time I thought about treating myself to a movie or a hamburger, but it was explained to me that self-care is treating yourself like you love you. I mean, shouldn’t that be the norm? Maybe for others it is but for me it wasn’t. I was always so hard on myself, pushing myself to work harder, do more, be more. I didn’t think I’d ever be accomplished if I was easy on myself. So sad.
But over the years self-care has become part of my life. How can I treat myself like I love myself?
The other day someone suggested I treat myself. I thought of a hamburger. I mean, I guess I have a one track mind or something. I do eat hamburgers, but I try to eat meals at home. That way I know what I’m eating and I don’t overeat. But what does it mean to treat myself? Like a pat on the back or reminding myself I did something well. I’m still thinking of food. Today I’m going to buy ingredients to make a few things from the Little Women Cookbook I got from the library: biscuits and shepherds pie.
Perhaps like washing clothes before I put them away for the season or stopping for gas before I get home I will think of ways to treat myself that don’t involve food, but for now it’s food. And eating. That’s what I associate with treating myself. Hopefully the biscuits and shepherds pie will turn out well.