I went a few blocks away this morning to start a commission. It’s one of two ‘house portraits’ I’m working on. I posted lasted Saturday on some neighborhood groups I follow on FB that I paint houses and I heard from a lot of people. Only two took me up on it but hopefully there are more mulling it over. They’re both in my neighborhood so I don’t have to go far.
I guess the painting gods were looking down on me yesterday because I got two more requests for commissions from non-neighbors, neither of whom saw my post on FB. The first commission is from a family member wanting a painting of her dog. The other is from an old friend who wants a painting of the church she’s getting married in. I’ve suddenly become very busy.
I have to say, if the rest of my neighbors are a nice as the ones I’ve met this week, painting houses will be a great way to get to know people in the hood. I don’t go to the get-togethers or events just because I’m not into socializing. I’d rather hustle and get to know people as clients instead. I’m already enjoying this. Hopefully more people will decide to get portraits done of their homes.
I’m also excited about painting this church. It was burned during the Civil War and the community didn’t have the funds to rebuild. Now it’s considered and ‘outdoor’ church, with a floor and beams but no walls. It looks cool. She’s getting married in December and wants a nocturne painting. I found some cool photos online that I’ll use as reference, but this will be a creative endeavor for sure.
I’ve been telling myself for months that I’ve got to get some commissions. I guess it’s been one of those things where I needed to procrastinate as long as possible until I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I don’t like to think of myself as a procrastinator. It was more fear and doubt than anything else. Do I want to get myself into something new and unfamiliar? Do I want to take a risk? Do I want to be busy with other people’s projects? Do I want to deal with other people - their needs, their expectations, their hopes, their letdowns? These are the things I’ve been asking myself all these months not knowing if it was the ‘right’ choice. If that’s procrastination then I’m a procrastinator.
When are fear and uncertainty a good thing and when are they bad? That’s what I’m asking myself now. Now that things are looking up and asking for commissions has turned out to be a positive thing (for the time being). Now I’m wondering about the difference between character defects and self-preservation. When am I procrastinating in my own best interest and when am I holding myself back? People always talk about procrastination as an unnecessary character flaw, but what if it’s not? What if we need time to think things through? What if I had jumped in six months ago and it hadn’t gone well?
If I showed up to a new client’s house NOT wanting to paint it, would that have gone over well? Or, what if I’d shown up full of doubt and uncertainty - about my skills, about them, about doing the work? Would I have made a good first impression? Would I have put them at ease that this thing they’re agreeing to pay for would be worth it? Yes, I could have done the whole fake it ‘till you make it thing, which I loath, (I am not an actor!), but I just don’t think there’s any reason to not be patient.
Making these decisions is tough. I’m glad I have support. I have a business mentor and it’s been the key to learning how to trust myself. My mentor doesn’t tell me what to do or when to do it. He knows his job is to run his own business, not mine. Instead he’s a great listener and he always shares similar struggles he had when he was starting off 20 years ago. That’s all I need. I just need someone to listen and get it. Somewhere inside I know what I need and I know what my business needs. It’s just a matter of trusting myself. I’m feeling glad I did that right about now.