I want to leave things on a more positive note. Earlier today I was feeling so overwhelmed with everything going on: Roe v Wade (and other SCOTUS bullshit), January 6th Hearings, 53 trafficked humans dead a few miles from my house, fourth graders mowed down by a troubled kid with an AR-15. A friend of mine shared that she and her wife are moving to a safer state. A republican today said he’s banking on liberals moving to blue states, that they will inadvertently help increase Republican power. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
It’s hard to find anything positive to focus on, but I want to. Tonight I saw a news story about the increase in mental illness among the young and I realized I really want to. How can we older folks fixate on all the tragedies around us when our young people need us to show them how to stay healthy? They need us. We need them too. We need each other and we need to demonstrate mental health.
The world is changing. It’s as if a volcano is erupting beneath us and we’re all wondering if we’re going to make it through. But you know what? Humanity has gone through plenty of upheavals throughout history and here we are. We are survivors. We have the ability to adjust and keep on going. And we can do that now. I’m not being a Pollyanna. I’m being a person of faith. A person of trust in this mysterious and magnificent Universe.
There’s no way to control the environment in which I live. Whether it’s a crazy household I live in or a crazy society. There’s just no way to control it. When I try to, I make myself crazy. When I worry about someone else gaining control over it I make myself crazy. The only thing I can do is contribute to it. I can relinquish control and focus on my contribution. I can express to the world what matters to me by choosing what I say, what I do, and what I focus on.
If I don’t believe that my contribution matters, that my contribution can make a difference, then I don’t think I make a difference. So, as a declaration of my significance, I will contribute to my environment. I will express to the world what matters to me. I will speak words of hope. I will honor the beauty of this human experience by appreciating it, even when it doesn’t seem to be appreciating me.
I have an inner world. I have a space within me that no one can touch. I need to spend time there to know this, to really get it, but it’s there. I can take a few minutes out of every day to be quiet, to listen to my breath, my beating heart, and in time I will grasp the depth and breath of my human soul. It’s mine for the taking and no SCOTUS a-hole has any say over it.
This inner world contains the full spectrum of human emotion, the entirety of feeling, and when I start to visit it, I may be overwhelmed. But soon I will begin to understand that my feelings can’t kill me. My thoughts have power, and often my feelings are expressions of distorted thoughts I had in the past, about things that don’t even exist anymore. And when I realize this I can choose new thoughts: the world is not ending and there is nothing happening that I can’t face. This is only the experience of being human, an experience that did not start with me. Everything I can feel and think has been felt and thought by someone before me. I am not alone.
This isn’t about a revolution. This is about transcendence. The laws of man are aggression, dominance, control, oppression, and all of their opposites. But the laws of nature are magnetism and attraction. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be the respect you want to see in the world. Be the acceptance and compassion you want to see in the world. Be the love, the patience, the hope, the optimism, the effort, the tenderness, the humility.
When I saw that news story about the young I saw my younger self. To all those out there struggling with mental health: I love you. I love you because I’ve been there and with help and support I learned how to love myself. I feel your pain and I know your struggle. Throughout the ages the human experience has been fraught with tragedies. But it has also been the source of our greatest inspirations and expressions of beauty. We can live through this upheaval and chose our future. All is not lost.
I believe, and I want to be a stand for hope, for all the good life has to offer. I understand that there will be times when I’m alone, when most people won’t want to hear my positive bullshit. That’s ok. I’m going to keep sitting each day, listening to my breath, my beating heart, and I will report back what I find.