I think there’s a time when I put in a rough sketch of a painting and love it, then I work on it a second time and cringe. I guess those are the phases of making a painting: pleased, not pleased, pleased, not pleased. I have made the mistake too of not stopping when I’m happy with it, thinking I could improve some aspect of it just a ‘lil bit, only to find myself not pleased again. So, I have worked on Parman Library again and find myself feeling kind of wobbly. There are aspects of it I like and aspects that have me cringing. But the cringe is what will have me get up tomorrow and work on it again.
This painting is a combination of a landscape and architecture. I’m going to see if I can get the two to mesh. The building is back there. I didn’t want to do a painting of part of the building, like a section that’s clearly visible with cool contrast and shadows. I wanted to paint what you’d see approaching it. Of course when you’re walking up to a building it changes as you move, more of it’s revealed, and your mind’s eye can make out what’s there even if it’s obscured by the landscaping. I have high hopes for this painting. Fingers crossed I can get it there.
I have a new drawing book ready at the library: The Natural Way to Draw. There’s another book in transit that hasn’t been delivered yet, so I may wait until that book shows up before I go get it. I don’t want to wait too long though. Yesterday I spent a few hours working on another profile portrait. I drew from a photo, and although I don’t think I captured my likeness I was happy with the results. The proportions are right and that makes me satisfied. The shading is a little too contrasty. I think in the future I will think twice about toning the paper before I start. Sometimes that works for me and sometimes it doesn’t.
I’m beginning to like my palette. I’m using titanium white, cad yellow light, yellow ochre, cad red light, sap green, and cobalt blue hue. After several months of using this palette I’m beginning to see colors that I really like. I’m beginning to see a tone that I like too. When I did the plein air painting Monday I was really happy with the colors and tones. It feels like I’m discovering something about myself. I’m seeing myself in the painting instead of feeling detached. Is this what it’s like when a writer finds their voice?
I know that color mixing is something I want to incorporate into my work day. I want to get more familiar with the colors I’m using and what’s possible. I want to feel what I’m feeling with these paintings I’m working on now. I haven’t known exactly what I’m trying to achieve or what I’ve been reaching for, but over the past year I’ve known that there’s something I’m reaching for. I believed I would know what I found it. When I was a photographer I felt that the images I was producing were an expression of myself. They clicked. I clicked. The whole process clicked. But painting is different. It’s not just a matter of capturing light, shadows, and contrast. It’s more complex.
So if what I think is happening is happening, I’m really happy. I’m really happy. This is a turning point in my work. This feels like going from producing images to telling my story. That’s deep.