It is a dark day today. I looked out the window this morning and noticed the sky, and although the forecast is for sun, it seemed improbable that it would happen. It’s still early. When it’s dark I feel cold, even if it’s not cold outside. I think it’s in the 60’s out but I’ve got a space hater on and an electric throw. Don’t tease. I’m really tired of being cold these days. I’m looking forward to spring even though it’s only January. Hopefully we won’t have a late winter freezes again this year.
I listened to an interview of Brene Brown this morning talking about emotions. When I read the description of the podcast I wasn’t sure it was something I wanted to hear about but I’m glad I listened. I don’t think I know what a lot of emotions are. She was talking about emotions I’d never heard of and I had no way of knowing if I’ve ever felt them. What does it mean to be perplexed? And when would I use it instead of confused?
Perplexed means completely baffled; very puzzled. Confused means unable to think clearly; bewildered. And Bewildered means perplexed and confused; very puzzled. I guess a lot of words are interchangeable, you can get creative, but one thing she said that stood out to me is that when we label an emotion we’re having, it effects our nervous system. So be careful.
The example she gave is that she used to say she was overwhelmed a lot, but what she came to understand was that 90% of the time she was actually stressed. Those are two very different emotions. One causes us to shut down (overwhelm) while the other causes us to get in gear and take action. So now, when she is in fact overwhelmed, she stops what she’s doing and goes for a walk. She does nothing because that’s what the emotion calls for.
Listening to the interview made me want to be more aware of my feelings. I try to choose feelings as soon as I wake up. I do my best to think of things that produce emotions like happiness, satisfaction, and excitement. I like emotions like thrill. It’s a good feeling to be thrilled. I also like satisfaction because it reminds me of working towards a goal and achieving it. But those are times when nothing’s going on and I can meditate on feelings I want for myself. I’d like to be conscious throughout the day.
Right now I’m not sure what I’m feeling. At first I thought, nothing. But let me break it down. I’m writing and in order to write I had to think of something to write about. I needed inspiration. I also wanted to write about something that I could relate to, something that resonated and felt personal. I wanted connection. I wanted to feel allied. So even though I’m not registering any strong emotions I’m still feeling things. I’ve learned to pay attention to strong emotions over the years but I don’t always take the time to recognize the subtle ones. I would like to be more emotionally aware. Perhaps taking time throughout the day to name the subtle emotions I’m feeling, or have felt in the past twenty minutes, would be a good exercise to incorporate into my life.