I made some good progress with my latest house portrait this morning. Yesterday I was scrolling through IG (not always a waste of time) and saw a photo of a John Singer Sergeant painting. The artist who posted it pointed out the details in it and mentioned that Sergeant mixed each color separately on the palette. Since I didn’t study art much in college (I was an art major when I first went to college but switched, a lot) I missed out on little things like that. It helped, and today I played around with my new knowledge.
There’s nothing like looking at a really good painter’s work to get inspired. I could have studied that painting all afternoon, just soaking up the richness of it. He definitely was a master. I’m a big fan of Thomas Eakins too, but Sergeant just couldn’t miss. If you like realism he’s one of the best. When I see great work it makes me want to be a better painter. I think I’ve lost sight of that lately. I’ve been thinking of myself as a worker bee these days, doing commissions, forgetting how important inspiration is.
And improving matters too. Color mixing is like drawing for painters. It’s something that helps improve your work and should be practiced regularly, like athletes practice drills. But it’s been a hard one for me to incorporate into my daily routine. I practice drawing quite a bit, but not color mixing. But I intend to. It’s on my agenda.
There’s a part of me that wants to be good, that just wants to get to a place where I’m a ‘good painter’. But life has taught me that things don’t work like that. I spent 15, 20 years devouring self-help books and memoirs, wanting to ‘get there’. I wanted what the authors seemed to have. I wanted to ‘make it’ instead of being someone who’s making it day by day.
That was big wake up call for me. I’ll always be making it, day by day. All those self-help books and memoirs about people who used to suffer but no longer are are unrealistic. No one ‘makes it’ and then coasts through the rest of life. That would be boring.
Wanting to be someone who’s made it was also about wanting status and superiority. I didn’t want to be in the thick of it with all the normal people. I wanted to be special. I wanted to be above it all. But I’ve learned that even if you’re great you can still get better. I learned that watching a documentary about the band Rush. The drummer, John Rutsey, who was one of the best, still wanted to get better, and after a career as a drummer in a successful band, began studying percussion with a well known teacher. Everyone thought he was crazy but he still wanted to grow.
I don’t know if I’m a good painter, but I do know that I spend just about every day doing it. I’ve been studying it formally and informally for 17 years. I’ve clocked many hours watching demos and I spent many years in school taking art classes. What I’ve come to believe is that by spending time doing things regularly I’m moving into that future, and as I do, I’ll improve. It’s what happens. I may not to be able to get 10k per commission today, but who knows what will happen in the future. And maybe I don’t need 10k a commission, maybe painting will lead something I can’t even fathom.