I listened to a great podcast this morning. It was an interview of a group of guys who, twenty years ago, started teaching yoga and meditation to underserved youth in Baltimore, Maryland. It was a pretty inspiring story. They worked with kids that were extremely misbehaved and had a hard time sitting still or getting along in class. But with the help of relaxation and body awareness these kids were able to return to class focused and ready to work.
One of the more touching stories I heard was how a lot of the kids would fall asleep. At the end of yoga when they did Savasana, which is a resting pose where you lie on your back, the kids would fall asleep because those were some of the only quiet and peaceful moments they had in the day.
I feel as if my adult life has been an attempt to reconnect with my executive function. When I look back on my life, around 10 years old is when I first notice an inability to concentrate at school. I was lost. I would sit in class and then feel ashamed and embarrassed later when kids would talk about what the teacher had said. I would miss assignments because I was off in another world. I just didn’t have the ability to be present, conscious, or aware.
So listening to these guys talk about bringing these practices into the schools and how it helped give the kids a second shot at life and at success really touched me. At one point they went to the school administrators to get the list of suspensions. They were filling out a grant proposal and wanted to show how the number of suspensions had gone down. They didn’t realize though that there were no suspensions that semester. None. The work they were doing with the kids was that effective.
It amazes me how many people out there are struggling with restlessness, irritability, and discontentment. So many people struggle to pay attention, to focus, and to be present to their own lives. It’s heartbreaking, only, in a lot of cases, you don’t know why. You’ve been out-to-lunch for so long it just seems normal, but deep down you ache for something you can’t name.
Perhaps that’s at the root of seeking spiritual fulfillment. Perhaps those who are seeking something more meaningful are looking for the ability to be here now, to be aware of their bodies and emotions so they know they’re alive.
So often I think what I want from my life is ‘out there’, some kind of accomplishment or material possession. But when I examine that desire I usually find that wanting the physical manifestation is really about status, fitting in, and getting approval. Sure it would be great to do great things, but if I’m doing it because I want to control how other people see me I’m going to end up being disappointed.
In the end I seem to always come back to my one true desire: connection. I want to be aware, present, in-the-moment, alive. I want to feel connected to my inner-guidance. I want to know I’m here, and the way I know I’m here is by being present. I have found that to be the antidote to feeling restless, irritable, and discontent.