I’ve been thinking about the role ‘healing’ plays in creativity. When I was a young adult I felt as if my creativity flowed easily. It was an awesome feeling and one of the reasons I decided to be a professional artist. But as I’ve gotten older it seems as if some hesitancy has crept in. I don’t feel as confident about my creativity as I used to and I’m wondering if my focus on self-help and mental health has had an effect.
If we’re artists, or pursuing a creative vocation, does it matter if we’re mentally stable? Would we produce better work if we were healthy? Unhealthy?
I think creativity comes from a place beyond the personality. I can’t say for sure where it comes from, but there have been times in my life when I have felt as if I was simply a channel for energies and emotions beyond the physical. When I was younger I was less aware of myself, less conscious, and creativity flowed easily.
But I decided at a young age that happiness was a priority, that my mental health was more important than anything else. I put it before work, before relationships, before everything. I don’t regret it. I've discovered a lot about myself over the years, including the importance of leading an inner-directed life.
I love being an artist. I love being creative - getting ideas and watching them manifest. In his book, The War of Art, Steven Pressfield criticizes ‘getting healthy’. I love the book, but that is the one part I have an issue with. He says that focusing on getting healthy is resistance, that it’s something that keeps us from working and producing art.
I can’t say I disagree, but is work more important than emotional stability? It’s probably different for everyone. Some people can’t afford not to work. Mental health services aren’t offered liberally to people. But what if you’re too depressed to work? What if you’re full of shame and self-loathing and producing art is too triggering? Being as personal as art is, I can’t imagine being public with my work when I was really struggling. It seems like the exposure would have been too much like losing control.
A lot of us choose a vocation thinking it will somehow free us from our misery. Like alcoholics and drug addicts, we’re not pursuing a vocation as much as we’re looking for an escape. Art is an enticing path in life if we’re struggling with an addictive personality. The promise of fame and fortune can overwhelm all other pleasures, can eclipse the satisfaction we may find from our work.