Quit Taking It So Personal

I’ve had a pretty busy morning. I was trying to juggle working from home and having both a plumber and a City Public Service guy to the house to check on the gas lines. Good news is that everything’s fine and I don’t have any gas leaks. The other good news is that I was able to get everything done that I needed to for work while they were coming in and out. I was listening to Ten Percent Happier before all the commotion but didn’t get to finish. It was an interview of a buddhist teacher, Pascal Auclair. It’s nice to listen to people talk about buddhism right now as I’m going to a 30-Day course in a few weeks. In fact, as I’m writing this a meditation friend of mine contacted me out of the blue to ask if I’m planning on being there. I guess she is close friends with the two assistant teachers and managers for the course. Now I’m really excited to go.


Not only was I able to get some painting in this morning, I finished another library pinging. This was of Collins Garden Library. This marks number six. I focused a little more on getting the lines of the building straight. I still want to get better at painting foliage but perhaps it’s just a matter of ‘practice makes perfect’. I think I get better at it every time I do it. I have 23 more buildings to paint so when I get home from my meditation course I’m going to try and get a little more productive. My pace is not fast enough at this point. 


Last night I watched some of the January 6th Commission Hearing. It is pretty amazing that such egregious things went on after Trump lost the election (and are still going on). It’s so ‘out there’ for everyone to see and yet it’s still controversial. Doesn’t make sense. There are so many people who aren’t going to watch these hearings and instead continue insisting the election was stolen. It’s sad because it does’t look like Trump will go to jail (at least he hasn’t yet) but many of the people he convinced of voter fraud have, and many more are on their way. Trump has manipulated people into believing that he was wronged, and if he was wronged then so were they. He’s preying on their pain and suffering. They’re so angry about injustice but they don’t realize they’re the ones who’ve been betrayed.


That’s a lot of why I don’t get too emotional about politics. I keep up, I have feelings and opinions about it all, but I just can’t care too much. It hurts to do that. Plus, as I’ve said before, I’m no expert. I don’t really know everything there is to know about the issues. I just know what I know, what I think, and what I struggle with. I’m one person. I’m a person who matters, because my vote matters, but at the same time there are folks who have dedicated a lot of time and energy to studying the issues. There’s a lot I don’t know. I try to keep it in perspective.


The title of the podcast was Ways To Get Over Yourself. Get over yourself because your opinions are fleeting. He said they flicker, like a candle flame. Our bodies, our identities, are impermanent. Life is impermanent. I can remember first being told to mind my own business. It wasn’t in middle school by some snarky kid. It was when I was in my late 30’s. A mentor of mine suggested I mind my own business. I was hurt and defensive, but after thinking about it I realized she was right. I was worrying about something that didn’t involve me. ‘Why get upset about things that don’t involve you?’ she asked. I didn’t have a good answer. I was looking for affirmation. I was butting my nose into other people’s business because I thought I was right, and I was using that situation - someone else’s situation - to prove it. I thought that would make me feel better.


I first learned about feminism when I was 14. It was one of my first identities. I loved thinking of myself as a feminist. To me it meant being female, being independent, capable, and knowing my worth is more than society will give me. All these years later I still think of myself as a feminist. But I have learned that many people want women to play subordinate roles to men, to be caretakers, to support the ones they love. I can understand this. I can understand how, for them, that’s important. It’s not how I feel, and I can’t see me changing my mind, but I respect that not everyone is like me. Not everyone sees the world the way I do. There are a lot of personal experiences that have led me to be a feminist, just as there are a lot of personal experiences that have led people to want a supportive wife or mother to be there for them when they need it. Whenever they need it.


It seems risky to be open minded right now. Like I may be perceived as naive and foolish. I know a lot of stuff is happening these days that’s not right. But hasn’t there always been? Who knows if Americans will overturn our current government. I hope not. I’d like to see us start to take some of the intensity out of politics and put it into other things. There has to be more to be passionate about than politics. But at the same time it’s hard not to think that powerful people will do bad things with that power if not checked (and is anyone checking?). I think that’s how our country came to be in the first place. In the 1700’s there were revolutions in Europe and here and democracy was the result. Who knows what the next decade or so will bring. Are we headed into chaos? Will we end up keeping the status quo? Or will we transform into something new, something different? 


Perhaps we need to take ourselves less seriously. Perhaps we need to learn how to communicate using ‘I’ statements. Or perhaps we need to see ourselves and our lives beyond our opinions, beyond our identities. Either way, it seems as if we will contribute to how our world transforms, even if we don’t see ourselves as being significant. If we want cooperation, respect, and acceptance in our society, we can practice these things in our personal lives and let go of the public a little.