Yesterday I was working on a video for my YouTube channel and I had an insight. I was exploring whether emotions make you a better artist.
What makes an artist great? What makes art itself great? Where does creativity come from?
When I was younger and struggling with emotional stability and mental health, making art, when I did it, brought relief. It was satisfying to channel my emotions in to what I was doing. As I’ve healed emotionally and my life has become more stable and predictable, making art has lost that ability to heal or provide immediate relief.
But not all has been lost. As I’ve been able to be more regimented in my daily routine, setting aside time each day for different creative tasks, I’ve noticed that while I channel less distress and upset into what I’m doing, I find myself channeling things from a place I’m not always aware of. It’s as if I’m allowing creative energy to work through me rather than focus my emotional energy into my work.
I still don’t know what makes and artist great or what makes great art, but as an artist I love hearing advice from other creatives to just make art. Just do the work. That’s really helpful to me. It reminds me a lot of my meditation practice and how important it is to sit every day. Pick at time and sit rather than sitting when it suits you.
At the beginning of my meditation practice it was heard to sit for an hour and watch my mind wander. I would get tired of bringing my awareness back to my breath and I would wonder if what I was doing was worth it. But then I would have that day. I would have a day where the gong would go off or the chanting would start and I would think, Wow. There’s no way to really describe what I feel in those moments except, Wow. Sometimes mediation is indescribable in it’s ability to calm, not only my mind, but my body and spirit as well. And those are the moments when all those days of struggle are worth it.
That’s how I feel about art too. I have been standing in front of an easel every work day for the past year. I did a lot of painting before that but never with the regularity of the past year. I also sit in front of the computer and write every work day. I have been doing that for the better part of of the past four years. I work, usually at the same time every day and plug away at what I’m doing. And most days it’s routine. Most days I walk away satisfied or happy with what I’ve done. But then, every once in a while there’s that day when I walk away grateful that something in me had me stick to a routine. It’s like meditation. Can I let go? Can I, as they say in 12-step programs, Let Go and Let God? That is not only the ultimate question for a spiritual practice, but for me it’s the ultimate question for a creative practice as well. Can I let go and allow something though from a deeper place? It only happens with practice. While spontaneity is great, regular practice it better.