I’m always amazed at how my mind works. I talked to the owner of a coffee shop a few weeks ago about hanging my artwork there. He was really enthusiastic but he said he has a guy who organizes the artists and he needed to check with him first. I didn’t hear from him for several days so I sent him a text but didn’t hear back. I waited, and a couple of days later I stopped in to see him. He apologized for not being in touch and was still enthusiastic about my work. He ended up telling me to hang it whenever I’m ready.
In my head though, I had almost created something toxic and crushing. I guess it’s habit, I don’t know, but I was thinking the worst of this man who has been nothing but kind to me. When I didn’t hear from him I was upset and confused, I was certain that I would ‘lose out’ and not get the opportunity to hang my work after all. I assumed that he was avoiding telling me he changed his mind or that it just wasn’t going to work out.
A good friend of mine pointed this out to me a few years ago. I was running something over with her, something that I was upset about, and she said, You’re assuming the worst. I was a bit taken aback but when I thought about it I realized she was right. I didn’t have enough information to make a decision about what was happening and instead of asking questions, instead of confronting people and inquiring about what they were thinking and feeling, I assumed the worst. I went to the worst-case-scenario.
Tomorrow I’m going to hang my work at the coffee shop, Panaderia Jimenez. I’m hanging the paintings of Thomas Jefferson High School that I’ve been working on over the past several months. I’m also making prints available on my Etsy shop. So, tomorrow’s a big day. I think I’m getting a feel for being a professional artist. Things happen in bursts. It’s kind of a feast or famine profession.
I’ve got a small list of things I need to do today to get things ready. Nothing big, but I don’t want to be running around tomorrow panicked. There’s nothing worse than being unprepared and frazzled. So today I’ll make sure the paintings have wires on the back and that I have title/price cards. I have a bio from when I hung work last fall that I will reuse and I’ll also hang my flyers (see if I can get some commissions).
There are several other places around town where I can hang my work. My goal is to get my work hung as much as possible this year. I made more last year than I initially realized and that has me feeling more confident. I’ve been putting things together for my accountant and it’s lifted my spirits. But this thing I do about assuming the worst is a lack of faith. I’m not believing in myself or in others and that’s something I want to change. It will only make this and uphill battle.